Painted Words

Just to add on what we were talking about in class today:

Poetry leaves thoughts to the reader to create the painting. The colors, the motion and the positioning are up to the reader. Also, like in a painting, the reader interprets the meaning and message. This meaning is created by the influence of daily life: past, present and future.

just an added thought
:0) C-ev

Get the picture

Ok, so I was reading the last bit of "C and P" Sunday night (yeah so I procrastinated a little, at least I read it right?) and I noticed the cute little map in the front of the book. I was reading about Svid as he wandered out to the islands and there was a name of a bridge. So, I couldn't help but use that map that I had found in the front of the book to locate the bridge. I found it quite easily (I have some pretty awesome map skills) and then, when seeing where it was placed in relation to other places in the novel, I decided that it was placed incorrectly. 

This is the problem I am having. By placing a map at the start of the book that shows exactly where everything is I feel like it kind of defeated the whole purpose of reading. It is just like reading a book and then seeing the movie. There is nothing worse than having your favorite book be made into a movie, dropping $9 on a ticket to go see it, and then when it starts and the characters and setting are all shown to you in real life it is all wrong. The "all wrong" part is really just opinion, but when you have a picture of a place or character in your head, and then the physical representation of it is not the same it kind of ruins the whole book for you. 

This is what happened when I looked at where the bridge was on the map. It was in the wrong place, but now I can only see it as being where the map said it is (just like it is hard to picture Harry Potter as being anyone but that dude who plays him in the movies). I hope that people are getting this it is a little hard to understand. 

In the end I feel like the whole purpose of reading a book is that you have to take the words and fabricate a visual in your head. Maps in books and movies of books just dissolve that whole place you made in your mind. I am really mad that that map was put in there, but I don't really know who to blame...

A Frozen Embrace

"With an enormous effort he managed to raise himself on one arm. He stared fixedly and savagely at his daughter for a while, as though he couldn't recognize her. He had never actually seen her dressed like that before. Suddenly he recognized her: dressed up in cheap finery, humiliated, crushed and ashamed, meekly waiting her turn to take leave at her dying father. His face expressed infinite suffering. 'Sonia! My daughter! Forgive me!' he cried, wanting to stretch a hand out to her, but lost his balance and fell in a heap off the couch with his face straight down. They rushed to pick him back up and put him back on the couch, but he was going fast. Sonia cried out weakly, ran up, embraced him, froze in that embrace. He died in her arms." (Dostoyevsky, 179)

Each event in Crime and Punishment is written with an awful elegance by Dostoyevsky. The anxious atmosphere he surrounds his characters scream to the reader the same cramped environment. The position of each character is also very significant. When Marmeladov is on his death bed, I was captured by the dramatic and tragic interactions between father and daughter. In eight sentences Dostoyevsky creates an infinite conclusion to Marmeladov life. In our life as well, there are moments that reverberate in our minds and hearts. They have no end, and in turn one is jolted to a screeching halt as the circumstances seem so surreal. It is hard to conclude such times as these as we are constantly reminded of the past. Life continues to pass by, but no longer with the same meaning.
Marmeladov's face of "infinite suffering" tells of a feeling never to be replenished. When he tries to grasp his daughter's hand he immediately falls to the floor face down creating a sense of hopelessness and udder shame. Sonia reacts to her father's fall and gives him a hug so pure in so much sorrow. Time stops in this moment. In Sonia's arms her father dies and with the passing of Marmeladov there follows a galaxy of emotions that will forever rein in the hearts of the characters.

Get Motivated!

The characters in "C and P" all live in the same city and interact with each other frequently, sometimes even multiple times a day. Yet, the main characters have not come together for reasons that are at all similar. They all have different, personal motives for becoming involved with the other main characters in the book. 

Dunia and Pulcheria both came to St. Petersburg in order for Dunia to marry Luzhin, but the move and the marriage were more than just Dunia getting married. They were looking for a way to be able to be closer to Raskolnikov and to be able to help him both financially and emotionally to get back on his feet. 

Razhumikin watched over Rasky when he was ill because he was a good friend, or that's how it came across. I really feel that he did stay with Rasky out of the good of his heart, yet I think that he is a kind of person who loves to be the hero in a story and come out looking like the knight in shining armor. This is also true of his interactions with Dunia and her mother. He ran all around St. Pburg the night that they arrived bringing them information not only because it was the right thing to do, but because it made him look good. Looking good to Dunia has become the Razzy's main motivation for still being involved in Rasky's life. 

All of the characters in C and P have their own personal motives for being involved in Rasky's life because he influences their lives in a positive way despite his illness and criminal past. This is not a trend that is only seen in "C and P" every relationship in the world whether professional, emotional, or friendly is based on (despite how cold and pathetic it sound) "what can a relationship with this person do for me?" Each person has their own secret motivation for becoming involved in another person's life. Wow, look how motivated we all are...

GBP

Svidrigailov might be considered to be a romantic hero because of 3 things: he showed up at the right time, he wants to save Dunya from Luzhin, and he has money.
Svidrigailov came to Raskolnikov just before the relationship between Dunya and Luzhin ended. Which was heroic because now Dunya has a chance of a life without poverty even though Luzhin is gone.
Svidrigailov told Raskolnikov that he couldn't stand to see dunya with luzhin, and would marry her even though he doesn't love her. So, he is trying to save Dunya from a man he knows wouldn't be good for her.
Svidrigailov, also, has a lot of money that he is going to offer to Dunya (and she and the family need it) as well as money that was willed to her by his wife.
Svidrigailov is, basically, looking out for Dunya's best interests and financial support. He wants to be the one to help her, which in most cases would consider him heroic.

OK so i haven't blogged in such a long time, sorry.
When we were reading The Mill again today i was thinking of how much this kind of stuff actually happens in our society today (people killing themselves over a lost job). It seems pointless to me to killer yourself over something so insignificant in the long run because you can always find a new job, or start a farm to produce food. The weird thing was, when I came home I actually heard of someone who tried to kill himself (but didn't actually do it)over a lost job.
To get back to the poem, one of the most sad lines in the poem is:
"Though ruffled once, would soon appear
The same as ever to the sight."
Which, in my opinion, talks about how the woman thought of herself, one little ruffle in the course of the river, barely even noticeable.

Lost in Translation...

So I have been reading (yay go me right Nigel!?) "C and P" and I have been thinking that there is something wrong with the book. You see Dostoyevsky lived in the 1800s which means (using my logic at least) "C and P" was written in the 1800s. Now I can't help but notice when I'm reading that I can understand exactly what the characters are saying and what is going on. This is both good (you know how much I hate to not understand a book) and bad in that there is a cultural piece that is missing from the book. I feel like people in the 1800's would not talk the way that they are talking in the book. This stems (I think) from the way that the book was translated. The translation that we are reading has a copyright date of in 1968, which I think has really influenced the way that the book was written in English. I really noticed the difference when I read one little line in the book. Rasky says to a girl he meets in front of a bar and after she invites him inside he says to her, "I'm going, sweet stuff." Sweet stuff? I'm no Russian language expert, but I have a feeling that what Dostoyevsky had written in the book in Russian was not intended to be read as sweet stuff. It was put in the translation because there are certain words in other languages that I know do not have an exact equivalent word in English. Because there was no exact work for whatever Rasky had said the translator who was working in the 60's used sweet stuff. I know that there is really nothing that can be done (except for me to learn Russian... not really an option for me right now), but I do think that if you can't read Russian you lose a lot of what the language was meant to actually say. A lot of "C and P" is lost in translation...

The Robin Hood effect

The concept of killing people and stealing to give to others who are needy, is hard to wrap my mind around. Murder is such a complex and emotionally exhausting thing (not that I would know from experience or anything), but the guilt that Rasky toils with and the fear that overwhelms him in the police station seems very tiring and anxious. How shameful must Rasky feel? I totally agree with Em. Dostoevsky does a great job revealing Rasky's inner feelings and anxieties. I feel like certain events in Crime and Punishment emulate, in some ways, of the classic story of Robin Hood. I never really liked Robin Hood. I think he had good motives, just like Rasky, but his moral conscience was just... turned off. That's just a scary idea. Plus he's a fox...And foxes are creepy.

The great big world of Universities

Okay, deep breath. Over my North and South Carolina school hunt this week, my mother and I have toured, investigated, interviewed etc. with nine schools. Even though we are both ready to go into a coma from exhaustion, we have had an amazing time and have got some great advice no matter where I go to college. I have visited: Montreat College, Gardner Webb University, High Point University, University of North Carolina- Chapel Hill, Duke University, University of North Carolina- Wilmington, Columbia International University, University of South Carolina and University of North Carolina- Charlotte. Each school has been so uniquely wonderful for me and all fit various desires for my college years (possible majors= Education, International Cultural Studies, Communications, Dance and Humanities...a lot, I know...ekkk). Some of the best advice that I have gotten on this trip is from an admissions counselor at Columbia International University. The advice is that I should really give thought to what I would do for free. Whatever that may be is what I should go and do. Hmmm.... I still need to think about my answer some more, but I thought it would be helpful to all of you brainy student in picking an occupation and college (and we really don’t have to have it all sorted out by the way). DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE IS THE THEME. I am so excited about my future, and I strongly encourage all of you to go on a college road trip with the rents, because there are SO MANY colleges out there. The world is diverse and wonderful, longing to be explored and challenged. I am pumped to see where everyone in our class will end up at our 10 year reunion because I know each one of you will do bright, unique and exciting things. Lets Shake up this world class of 2009!


P.S. Its kind of sad, this graduating thing, you know. Transitions are so strange...

A little frantic...

I was reading into the second section of Crime and Punishment at work today and I think that I found out why people do read the book over and over again. I was finding myself actually feeling nervous while I was reading about Raskolnikov looking for blood on his clothes. The writing has made me like Rasky (Raskolnikov) even though he killed the old woman. While he was freaking out I felt like I was really there (that sounds so cheesy) experiencing it with him. I have only gotten to the part where he is at the police station, and it is killing me. I am just worried that Rasky will have some guilt attack and just blurt it out and ruin everything. It stinks because I feel like his getting caught is inevitable, but I don't know when or how it will happen. Frankly this book makes me feel anxious and frantic...

Frustration with immature High Schoolers

So we saw "12th Night" at Marshwood a couple days ago and everyone really seemed to enjoy it. Afterwards the cast opened the floor up to questions. I was the last question to be taken, and being an actor, I was curious to know the difficulties in performing/ understanding Shakespeare. I asked the question in a detailed way to make the question clear and also detail is just the way I speak. After the question was answered one of the actors commented on the amazing auditorium. I politely agreed, the bell rang, everyone went to lunch. Now here is the punchline: Random people came up to me in the last two days commenting on how people (more than one mind you) were saying "shut up" to their friends about my "lengthy" question. COOOOOMMMMEEEE ONNNNN! What are you...Like two years old? People can be so ignorant at this age. We are watching Shakespeare to learn and explore the English language, rather than making comments such as "I love your dress." Further more, if people are SO concerned about the time restraint, why don't they just go back to class and get lectured at? ANNND why do these people not have compassion for anyone?? What if I wasn't even asking an intelligent question, what if I had really low self esteem, what if I talked for hours and stuttered over every word because I was nervous to speak in front of people? Luckily I am none of those things and my confidence is secure, but I can't even imagine what the "shut up yellers" do to people in those circumstances. It sickens me. Please grow up, take advantage of the amazing opportunities the school has given us, get some compassion and learn how to communicate with people. UGH.

Profile confusions

I just figured out how to change my profile...It never worked before. Yeah!!! I have an identity now!

x-ray vision

My uber intellegent friend at an Air force Acadamy in Colorado, recently posted this picture. He figured out by taking a picture of the scenery behind his computer, he could create the illusion that his computer is transparent. I saw this as very artistic, very creative and very time consuming. To get the exact right picture, he said it took him days. I guess that's what college is all about. The creative projects of endless free time! I can't wait...

Sonnet... Bonnet?

In the past few months we have been reading some lovely (Ha!) sonnets in class by my one and only favorite person, Willy Shakespeare. Nigel decided that we should write some of our own brainy sonnets, bring them in, and read them to the class. So last week our sonnets were due, and I had spent all weekend counting syllables and stressed and unstressed feet while my family walked by me wondering what the heck I was counting with my fingers and talking to myself about. I looked like a loony, but I finished it and it had the 10 syllables a line, with the stressed  and unstressed pattern. I was pretty darn proud of myself for even finishing, so I strutted into class on Monday feeling pretty good. That feeling lasted only until MS read her sonnet to the class. I thought that it was pretty good (I couldn't count fast enough to see if there were 10 syllables in each line, but it doesn't matter). Then Nigel asked her what her rhyming scheme was. WHAT? RHYMING SCHEME? I started to freak out. Apparently the sonnets had the RHYME! Well I definitely did NOT rhyme anything in my sonnet. After that I didn't want to read it at all. In the end Nigel just said that the sonnet could be fixed and turned in on Friday. Yay! I'll just go and rhyme the last words of the lines and turn it back in. But it's not that simple.

I spent 2 hours on the computer trying to find good words that rhyme with undisguised and that fit into the message of the sonnet. It was super hard. That got me thinking. Shakespeare wrote all kinds of sonnets, 154 if I am not mistaken, and I have a nagging feeling that he didn't go online and look at the rhyming dictionary to get his sonnet to fit the whole abab rhyming set-up. This is where I have to give Willy-boy some mad props. I mean 154 sonnets! That is crazy! I had a hard time writing one, and I used a thesaurus and a rhyming dictionary to get mine to even fit the sonnet "rules". Who knows if it even made any sense, but let me tell you there were the right number of syllables, stressed and unstressed pairs, and those words rhymed gosh darn it!

This has to be some sort of Kodak moment... one you will most likely never see again, so appreciate it now... but I think that Shakespeare did a... nice job when writing his sonnets. 

So sorry

Okay, so I have been a little lame in the blogging department lately... college stuff is due this week so my mind has been elsewhere. I am going to try and put in some good shorter blogs this week to make up for it, though, so be ready (but don't set your expectations too high or you WILL be disappointed)

"fool"ish relief

I would also like to agree with the fact that Nigel is "da man" for letting us do this blog instead of a ginormous project. I am so foolishly relieved that we didn't have to do the project. I am going to try to be more of an avid blogger like my friend em who blogs every other millisecond... andI know a I will have many opportunities with this upcoming project, sonnets and such other assignments. I am pumped for that because I truly do like blogging. :)

The Loyal Fool

"I had rather be any kind o'thing than a fool,yet I would not be thee, nuncle;I am a fool, thou art nothing." (I. iv.)

The fool in William Shakespeare's play "King Lear" is the most, kind, noble and wisest character of them all. With all the turmoil and insanity around him, the fool must maintain his loyalty through clever humour to King Lear. The fool has sympathy for his old and quickly fading master. The fool follows King Lear out into the horrid storm, only to meet the need for humour. Beyond the fool's comical service to the king the fool is a voice of reason and helps to make Lear aware of his wrong to his daughters. The fool serves multiple purposes to the King, but I believe that although the fool is comic relief, he secretly labours over Lear's breaking of heart.

The way the fool was portrayed in the movie we saw of "King Lear" was appropriate for the fool's comments. The irony that the fool presented through his clever verse is only something that comes with age and humble sweetness in character. The old man playing the movie's fool had visual aspects, such as his silver beard and wrinkled face, that echoed a wise, respected man.
The fool is a simple character with nothing noble about his status, but serves a regal purpose. Even though Lear is the fool's master you sense a closeness about them and that Lear is willing to listen to the fool's opinions.
Through his comical ways the fool is able to be very blunt about true reality of each conflict. Only through humour can you sugar coat the subjects of divorcing your children and war. Through humour, even today, comic strips and Saturday night live skits give the public access to explore their positions further as things are exaggerated to the extreme.
Humour can be a cushion of comfort or a segway to enlightened thinking and the fool in "King Lear" greatly impacted Lear's views. Loyalty and humble opinion made the fool 's memorable character in the book, but also in my mind as a truly noble, daring and fascinating character.

About A Fool

I second Em, thanks so much Nigel.
The Fool in "King Lear" is a fascinating character because his title is fool but he makes the most sense in the whole play. He plays the side note of intelligent thought; in modern plays his role would be like the narrator. The fool helps Lear throughout the play by guiding him with his wisdom, which is a good picture because Lear is basically loosing his mind. At the same time, the fool is seen as an incomplete character because he keeps appearing and disappearing through the duration of the play; the fool shows up in times of stress(on Lear's part) to help the audience know what Lear "should do" in these awful times, but chooses not to(which adds to the tragedy of the story). The overall purpose of the fool is to make sure the audience knows what is going on in the play (he gives direction in all aspects). At times the fool can be seen as a sarcastic character, because he points out the odveous, but he is really a character of compasion and intelligence.

Rivals from Canada

After reading " The Rivals" I was a bit confused about where the book actually took place. I know that it said Bath, but through the whole book i was thinking it took place somewhere in Canada. What was up with the language "Hey, and Aye, and Nay." I really am convinced that someone is a Canadian in the book.

the love of theatre

I have just done the last weekend of High School Musical at Ogunquit playhouse and after doing the show one weekend every month for 6 months, it's been quite a ride. Coming out of this experience has really showed me the mastery of this art form (drama) that I have so come to love. The people I worked with were so focused on their character that it took them to a different realm. As I worked around this sort of talent, I am learning to do this as well. There is just something about losing myself in a complete whimsical fiction that excites me greatly. I love becoming someone I'm not. Not that I don't like who I am, but just the fact that I am able to experience life in another's shoes (even if it is just pretend). After reading the play "The Rivals" and reading of Lydia's fantasies about how she wants to be wooed and loved it reminded me of why I love to act. In real life love is not something that most are able to control, but through theater, you can. Also working with the same people for so long, you really become a family and get to know them well. I will miss all the people I met, but I will be visiting them in their prestigious acting schools and in their awesome plays when I someday see them on Broadway. Even though I probably won't do a lot of theatre after high school, I will always love and cherish the art of acting.